oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
