She's JV to your varsity
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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