i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
