so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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