apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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