Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
