are you still at the devil's house?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
