Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Randomize
