Don't you send me to vm
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
