he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you would pick up someone in the library
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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