Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
