You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
