I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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