In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
