i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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