I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
