The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
