i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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