I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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