how can u be prego again
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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