he shaved USA in his pubs
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
