Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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