and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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