Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
