It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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