i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
