Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
