How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
