): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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