Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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