Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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