I think I died a long time ago.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I have post one night stand depression
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
