I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
