Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
