worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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