dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
