I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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