Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When did angry sex become our thing?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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