I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
