The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
