I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize