omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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