I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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