I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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