Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
