found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
