is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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