i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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