walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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