It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
