cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
