you would pick up someone in the library
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
